Am feeling much better since taking the increased meds. Also managing to sleep at night. Had a really long sleep last night, perhaps due to the fact I'd wrapped round myself a fleecy blanket. How cosy and warm that was!
In fact decided - at 7.00am (when I woke) to grab an extra hour in bed, and it wasn't until I hear a voice call out 'Shirley' that I checked my bedside clock and it was five minutes short of 9.00am! Could almost believe the voice came from my B, and perhaps it did, for there was no-one there. Someone is watching over me, and that gives me a good feeling.
All the rubbish has been put into the respective bins ready for 'him upstairs' to wheel them down the drive to the gate early tomorrow morning (the refuse collectors come alternative weeks, but now I've hardly enough to fill half a bin in that time so it makes things easier all round.
Weather has turned cold with lots of frosts, but think it is warming up a bit again. Sun still shines most of the day and am wondering if we will be getting a proper winter, or like last year when winter never arrived at all (at least not in Morecambe).
You are all so kind sending in lovely and caring comments, and I feel very guilty not replying to each individually as I used to do, but they are all read and I give silent - if not written - thanks to everyone as I read them through. When the New Year begins, that will prove to be 'the first year of the rest of my life' and after a bit of tweaking, things will get back to almost normal, and I can begin 'thinking food' again.
Grief seems to come in stages. My neighbour - who sadly lost her husband about 18 months ago - said what is now happening to me, also happened to her. First the really bad times, the dreadful gap that can never be filled, and buckets of tears for the loss. Now second stage is 'chatting' to my B, but also wagging my finger at him and asking 'why did you leave things in such a mess for me to have to clear up (like the garage roof leaking badly - he was going to do it, but when?). B could have repaired it himself, but now I have to pay someone to do it. I have a long list of other things that needed to be done, so tears of misery are now changing to a few stern words when the next crisis hits me.
...Just realised that I hadn't finished writing my blog, other things too precedence, amongst them what seemed to be hours-long telephone conversations with the Pensions dept, DVL dept, and other places in the hope of being allowed a benefit or two (much of the talking was done by my daughter, but I had to fill in details, some of which I had mislaid. Not surprisingly. I am snowed under by paperwork that I thought I didn't need anymore, luckily not yet shredded, so more hunting to be done. It'll will all be sorted eventually, at least the wheels have been set in motion - that should save a week or two.
Tomorrow am expecting a builder to call re the garage roof, so may not have time to blog, hope to be back on Wednesday. Thursday morning have an appointment with my GP, so it will be Friday (if that) before I blog again. Have to take each day as it comes at the moment, but fortunately time seems to be moving fast, so I don't have too many hours to dwell on the past as always try to keep myself busy.
All the media (papers, mags, TV...) are full of Christmas cheer, festivities and food. So many good ideas that I wish I felt like talking about, but sadly this year feels as thought I should turn pages quickly, and switch onto another TV channel although do like to see new ideas that cost very little (or nothing and could be used at any time of the year. That way it is as though every day is just another normal day of self-sufficiency, and it's not that bad when you get used to it.
Now off to get my lunch - not yet sure what but am sure will be inspired once I open the fridge door and discover what needs using up. Maybe a meatless Chinese stir-fry, with possibly an omelette on top.
Today sees the return of an Australian series "A place to call home'
(or similar name) on BBC 2 in the afternoons. It was off for a week due to snooker, but I am hooked on it. Seems to be set in the early 1950s (so I can remember wearing the style of dresses/hats etc), so perhaps taken back to the past in a country that I wish I could have visited, is a form of comfort for me.
Also been watching a re-run of Lark Rise to Candleford
(3 episodes, back to back) on one of the Freeview channels at the weekends. Any period drama appeals to me, especially of the more rural type. ;However bleak some of the lives seem then, I still wish I could have experienced them. People seemed to gain so much more happiness from small things than they do today. The more 'advanced' we get, the more enjoyment we seem to have lost.
My idea of heaven would be - once dead - we can return to earth again but not necessarily to the future, but anywhere we wish in the past and a life-style of our choosing.
It would be interesting to hear from readers when/where they would like to return if they had a choice. Their favourite era/s.
After having had more than one regression session, it seems that - in the past - I've always been associated with the domestic side, either as a scullery maid - or even a cook (kitchen always played a big part in past lives). Was once even a nanny.
That's it for today - expect me when you see me. TTFN.