Catch Up

Meant to blog yesterday, but another sleepless night plus a feeling of deep depression caused me to curl up in my chair and feel as though I didn't want to do anything at all.   Thankfully, last night I did sleep almost through, so feel much better.  At the moment, with me, it's swings and roundabouts, I never know how I'm going to feel until the day dawns.  Today feels as though it will be a good day.

Many thanks for all the comments sent.  I keep asking the doctor if I'm anaemic, he says 'No', but am sure they don't check everything when they do a blood test.  He says my kidneys are OK (so that's something I suppose).  Am seeing him on Thursday so will see if he can do something about my tiredness and depression, although this is probably normal considering what has happened over the last two-three months.

Earlier this morning put the rubbish out for my neighbour to wheel/lift down the drive to the gate for me. Seems to be loads of empty cans (at least 14 - that's one a day, they empty THAT container once a fortnight).  Mainly soups, chopped tomatoes, mixed beans.  Perhaps I need to eat more protein. 

Recently I have been buying vegetarian sausages, and find the Tesco Lincolnshire (flavoured) ones very good.  But they are not meat, and it does seem I do need meat to avoid feeling tired.  Must thaw out some lamb's liver for my supper tonight OR I could cook myself a lamb shank and have that with petit pois and a few small potatoes.
Still feel guilty about eating all these 'goodies' that I used to buy and cook only for my Beloved, it will seem strange cooking these for myself, but they are in the freezer and there is no-one now to cook them for.   Should also make some bread as not eaten 'real' bread for weeks, although I've been thinking of stuffing some frozen/thawed pitta bread with grated cheese, then heating these through in a dry frying pan, ending up like a quesadilla I suppose.  Did see a mention in a mag of using naan bread for the base of a home-made pizza, so that is something else I can try.

One thing I'm craving for is sweets.  Normally Christmas is the time when I do allow myself some chocolate or fudge, this year sweets were the last thing on my mind.  There are times when I think I might just as well eat what I want, especially what I enjoy most, and ignore being diabetic.  Normally doesn't seem to matter much anyway.  Is it worth living a few years longer and missing out on all the lovely food?  Or open a box of delights, gorge my way through them, and die happy a lot sooner?

However much a solid fuel stove would cheer me up, readers are probably right when they say they are hard work - clearing out the ash, and especially filling up the coal scuttle and log baskets.  This is something I always used to do when we lived in Leeds (and had a working, open fire), but I was younger then. 
We do have a gas fire fitted in this room (dining room/study), and this is the only room that still has a working chimney (lined for the gas fire).  It is fitted with a handsome Gillow walnut (I think) mantelpiece with marble inset and front, and a proper fire would look lovely crackling away in it, but then it would make sense to turn this room into a living room, and the living room into either a bedroom or a dining room (it is big enough for both).  At the moment I can't be bothered, but do feel like making a lot of alterations to the internal décor of our property as I've wanted to do this since we moved here (B didn't want changes) and now I can.  Well, as much as I can afford.

Now there is no-one to say I can't, am very tempted to keep hens (or at least bantams).  Have to wait and see if my health improves before I make a final choice.  Really do need some sort of 'pet' to be able to talk to.

Bantams lay small eggs, and there was something in the paper this weekend about Jamie Oliver and using small eggs (laid by pullets).  He says these are never sold because customers always want the medium or large eggs.  If we cook 'properly' then we should always use eggs by weight, not size, so it doesn't matter if they are small (pullets eggs or bantams).  Jamie also says these smaller 'first lays' (by pullets) have a much better flavour than when the hens are older and lay normal sized eggs.

During war-time, when my parents kept a few chickens - grown from day-old chicks - the first eggs laid were 'soft-shelled'.  Do remember later there used to be quite a few with double yolks, and at least once a triple-yolked egg.  The hens were Rhode Island Reds, lovely big brown birds.  Mum used to store surplus summer eggs in big metal 'buckets' of isinglass (waterglass) to use through the winter months when the birds laid fewer eggs.

During most of my life I've had a pet to care for (often more than one), and would so much like another now, mainly to keep me company I suppose.  Dogs are my favourite, but do need exercising, and as my preference would be a Labrador, then a small, yappy dog, would not be my ideal.  It would still need exercising.  Our (local) daughter really hates cats, so doubt she would ever visit me if I got one, and anyway, not that fond of them myself although a perfect pet for a housebound person.

Anyone got any suggestions as to the pet suitable for me?  It needs to be able to communicate back when I talk to it, and certainly have found guinea pigs (cavies) can do that. They are also very friendly little souls.  Rabbits, gerbils, hamsters, fish tanks, tortoises, tarantulas, snakes (maybe a big snake would make a good burglar deterrent), caged birds....none really appeal to me.  I want something to cuddle and one where a small garden would provide room for daily exercise (with the occasional walk at the side of a mobility scooter).  Or am I doomed to living alone? 

In the distant past, before TV, radio and the like,  people who lived alone always had some sort of 'company', even if only a loudly ticking grandfather clock.  Almost certainly a cat, and a canary in a cage hanging in the window, singing its little heart out.  The only living thing that seems to want to infiltrate my space are slugs that - for some reason - seem to enjoy slithering across our carpets leaving slimy trails.  We never found out where they entered and where they left.  If they moved a bit faster I might consider training them to jump through hoops.

If I had my time again, I'd try cross-breeding Labradors with the smaller gun-dogs (beagles etc), in the hope of introducing miniature Labs.  There are other large breeds than now have been bred to give smaller versions (poodles, sheepdogs....) so why not Labradors?  These are such loving and gentle dogs, that when small-scale would be perfect for older people to care for.

Anyway, that's my chat for today. At least better than nothing, although at the moment I cannot promise writing much of interest, or even write every day.  But will try.  It is always lovely to have your comments to read, and so keep them coming.

Weather here mainly frosty, but above freezing at the moment.  On the news it seems that South Australia has big forest fires, and around this time expect to hear that Canada is covered in a layer of snow.  Has that happened yet?  Don't watch much news at the moment, and try to go to bed earlier rather than later in the hope I do fall asleep. Nostalgia time yesterday when I watched 'Bambi', last time I saw that was when I was a child.  Couldn't remember much of what happened, so the ending was a bit of a surprise.  but that's what life/nature is all about.

Not sure whether I'll be blogging tomorrow, we'll just have to wait and see.  TTFN.