Monday, February 09, 2015

Early To Bed, Early to Rise?

Once upon a time it was normal for me to rise early (at first light in the summer months), and then write my daily blog.  This would give me the rest of the day to do all the cooking, chores, etc... (well, some of them...).

My life has changed so much that I really don't know what each day will be like. If you can imagine we are back in the old days when we had smog (that's thick fog made even thicker with trapped smoke from chimneys), and going outside we could barely see the kerb let alone dare to cross a road, well, my life seems a bit like that.  Lost in a fog, losing the way back home and ending up who knows where?  I've only once been in a real smog with that happening, and it was scary.  

So thanks Margie for your comment re the doctor who had lost his wife some months earlier.  It makes me feel a mite better to know that I thought was depression is almost certainly part of the grieving process, after all it is only just over 3 months since (but feels like an eternity). and am finding it very difficult (at times) to stop sinking back into misery.   However, as each day (month) goes by, and with spring not that far away, this will help give me more to think about, even the days lengthening (and the nights shorter - although it is still dark as I write) should make me feel better.

The Occ. Therapist came on Friday, and I've just about managed to keep control.  Our living room does not feel the same now we have taken up the rugs, but not as bad as I expected, and - thankfully - the cream carpet is NOT paler beneath where the rugs were (my one fear), so won't need to hire a carpet cleaner. 

Your mention of pills Ali has reminded me that I read a good tip about taking larger pills (that often get stuck in the throat).  Take them with a spoon of yogurt and they easily slip down, or crush the pills and take them with the yog (or a spoon of jam!).

Last week had to choose between watching the 'Eat Better for Less' prog and the 'Sewing Bee' (why does the BBC put them on at the same time?) and even choosing the 'eating' one, still managed to fall asleep, but both were repeated this weekend.  Enjoyed the Sewing Bee one, and most of the Eating one (but had a phone call towards the end so missed the important bits - it didn't seem quite as good as the first episode). Like Granny G. I find these two progs worth watching, and if I have a fairly sleepless night (not often now), I try and rest (in bed) in the early afternoon so that I will stay awake for the progs I do want to watch (or their repeats). 

I do not know why it is, but every time I wake up (day or night) I still feel there is someone in the house so I have to keep quiet in case I disturb them when I get up.   It still feels very, very strange to realise I am completely alone in the house, can stay in bed if I want to, can get up when I wish, and no one to look after except myself (and I'm not used to doing that anyway).  
Thinking back, it has a similar feel to when our last (fourth) child went to school for the first term.  The house seemed SO empty, and with B being away (most of the work he did was away from home, returning weekends), I felt so alone until time for all the children to be collected from school and tea/supper ready for them, plus games, baths, bed-time stories.... 

Had similar feeling when the children grew up and eventually left home (to be married, university or work away from home etc).  Again the empty nest feeling.   Takes time to accept this, but we usually can.  Must remember that.

Went to bed yesterday evening, early for me (10.00 - after Mr. Selfridge), and so woke at 5.00am. For me that was a good long sleep.  Stayed in bed until 5.45am, and now it is nearly 7.15am but still dark.  With any luck I can get the laundry washed, and a host of other chores done before my usual 9.00am start.   If I can keep this up then maybe I can get back into a more normal routine (like doing something instead of nothing!!!).  l

Realise that Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day) should be soon, followed by Valentine's Day, and do remember once these both happening on the same day.  It was then I was doing a cookery spot on the local BBC (Leeds) TV, so I made a thicker pancake batter (as for Scotch Pancakes), pouring some of this into a large frying pan in the shape of a heart and cooking this (and more)  'live' on TV.

One of the chefs on a recent cookery prog (was it James Martin?) was bemoaning the fact that those frozen stuffed pancakes were now not on sale any more (so he showed how to make them).  They were just simple pancakes with a savoury filling (can anyone remember what?) that I believe were egg and crumbed then fried (or oven baked).  So that is something we could make to serve on pancake day.  Make the pancakes in advance, layer and freeze then we are halfway there.  Just fill with some 'leftovers' (chicken and mushrooms in a cream sauce; spag bol meat sauce; canned salmon/tuna in a parsley sauce....).

Dawn is just breaking (7.20am) so by the time I've read the rest of my emails it will be light enough for me to work in the kitchen, and although always intending to write my next blog sooner rather than later, at the moment I have to keep reminding myself I have a blog that needs updating, let alone what to write about when I do.  Blame that 'smog'. 

With another week of good weather forecast, can hope this continues for some time for here at least (in Morecambe) we have yet to have any real wintery weather.  Frosts only, and cold, and compared to Canada and the US, not THAT cold.  often a few degrees below freezing at night, but can rise up to 10C during the day especially when the sun is shining.    Not sure about the rest of the country, but we do seem to get the best weather going at the moment,  although pink clouds in the morning (like today) is not always a good sign.

Today begins another week, so hope you all manage to enjoy some of it, and hopefully all of it. Myself am going to have a good try and allowing for a gap of a day (or two) now and then, hope I will find something interesting to write about.   TTFN.