The Power of Prayer
Yesterday I was a new woman. I had LOADS of energy, still hobbling around, but needing only one stick, and spent over four hours in the kitchen doing loads of things, barely needing to sit down. Today I still feel small-scale energetic, so will carry on sorting out the kitchen (it needs it!).
I don't think "Ask, and ye shall be given" is quite the right expectation, but I firmly believe that what we pray for is heard, and then a decision is made 'up there'. It is - of course - very necessary to always give grateful thanks when our cries are heard and we get a response. In all honesty, I've had several of these over the last few weeks.
What I'm discovering now is that I'm continuing to cook, but this time just for me. By this I mean proper cooking (as for B), not just settling for cold meat and salads.
After sorting out the fridge yesterday decided to cook myself a stir-fry for lunch. B always used to enjoy cooking these (but never for me), so this was a first.
My meal had less ingredients than usually prepared for B to throw into the pan. Just a few things that I found. Sliced up a carrot into matchsticks, par-boiled these in a pan with the last handful of sugar-snap peas, and a quarter of a yellow pepper (also sliced). Sliced, then fried an onion in the small wok, then threw in the par-cooked veggies, tossed these with a sachet of a chilli and garlic Chinese sauce, and then added a sachet of rice noodles that I'd cooked (took all of one minute) in the water the veggies had been cooked in.
Have to say it tasted very good, and made a substantial portion (at least for me). Next time will add some cooked meat (beef/chicken, or prawns). For supper I had a can of Pea and Ham soup to which I'd added a small can of Heinz baked beans. That too was tasty.
Am now looking forward to cooking myself some liver, bacon, cabbage with or without potatoes. One of B's favourites, the liver always saved for him. Always wished I could have some, now I can. Every cloud etc...
A welcome back to Maggie who does highlight the things I'm going through. I still 'talk' to the chair where my B used to sit (by my chair) when watching TV, just as if he was there. Yesterday was watching a programme about some old comedy and have to say I even managed a laugh or two - first time for ages. So life is returning to almost normal.
Lots of post keeps arriving, seems I am now the sole owner of our property. Good in some ways, but not when repairs have to be made. Some need doing (one of those things B put off until another day).
B had no company pension Floss, all we had was the State Pension and some savings I'd made, so until the benefits (if any) get sorted - and this we have been told will take several weeks - I have to be very, very careful where the money goes.
Also a letter came inviting me to attend a heart clinic in Lancaster. One that I will have to postpone (or maybe not attend at all) as it will costs over £20 in taxis and as I said above, money will be so tight that every penny counts, and this clinic is more about managing the condition, I had been given books that explain what to do and what not to do anyway. My GP should be able to sort the meds out (apparently this can take several months as they have to be continually adjusted) so I'll wait to see him before I decide what to do next.
Thanks so much Cathy for the poem - it was the one I was referring to and one that I'd like read out at my own funeral.
Thanks Les for your words of wisdom. Hadn't heard of remote switches (but expect they cost a bit), however, do keep the light on under the kitchen unit (all day and night - no windows in there), and the way the rooms are situated, it shines enough light through the glass bedroom door (which I now keep open anyway - saves me fumbling for the door handle), for me to see where I'm going when walking around at night. I also have a bedside light. Other table lights in other rooms are situated by the door so can be switched on or off as we enter/leave the rooms.
Am hoping Margie, to sort something out so that I can still visit the Spiritualist Church. This Thursday, three of the ladies will be visiting me, so maybe something can be arranged.
Thanks also to all the readers who have sent in comments - but not as yet replied to. At the moment feel I'm coming out of my misery a bit (but am sure I will have the occasional relapse), so am trying to think positive and get my life sorted. Feeling that much stronger now is certainly making a difference.
Just realised that in one month it will be Christmas Eve, but sadly Christmas is something I'm not even considering this year. The plan is that my daughter and I will go out for lunch on that day. It would be too painful to celebrate with a meal at home. This year it has to be just an ordinary day, although I will enjoy all the TV 'specials' I am sure.
That's it for today. Tomorrow my Tesco order will be delivered and this time it is just about half the cost of what it normally is - and a lot of the order being for non-foods, the actual food expenditure is about a quarter. Let us hope it stays that way. Still plenty in the larder and cupboards, and that reminds me - when reaching for the noodles and Chinese sauce (B kept these plus rice, pasta, and other Oriental bits and bobs in this overhead cupboard) quite a few packets fell out, so think I'll empty two small drawers and place all the packets in these for easy access. Things I rarely use can go into the cupboards. Another job to be done, but one I will enjoy. Who knows what I'll find at the back of the shelves (B shoved in all sorts of things - well, so did I if truth be told).
That's it for today, hope to find time to blog tomorrow, keeping busy is taking priority at the moment, but as I still can't sleep, getting up early gives me an extra hour or so to blog, so you'll perhaps end up with too much of me, rather than not enough. TTFN.